Arguments arenвЂ™t about facts. TheyвЂ™re about emotions вЂ” your feelings вЂ” so make statements about your self.
4. DO keep in mind that fights are about feelings, perhaps not facts.
вЂњYou always do [awful thing] each time we [activity] and IвЂ™m tired of it!вЂќ
вЂњYou worry about [person, spot, or thing] more than you worry about me personally!вЂќ
вЂњYou donвЂ™t give a shit about [person, spot, or thing]!вЂќ
They are maybe not facts. They are your emotions, your perceptions. Your perception as a person is trained from an incredible number of several years of development to identify causation and pattern. The issue using this вЂ” with development вЂ” is the fact that we now have a habit that is bad of causation where there is certainly none and discerning вЂњpatternsвЂќ in one or two supporting circumstances. WeвЂ™re good at exaggerating or truths that are ignoring fit our perception. This really is why many people battle.
вЂњI feel [jealous, hurt, overlooked, ignored, ignored, silly, etc.] whenever you do [thing] once we [activity]. I have to speak about that.вЂќ
вЂњI feel than me sometimes like you care more about [person, place, or thing. That hurts.вЂќ
вЂњI feel just like you donвЂ™t worry about [person, spot, or thing. [Person, destination, or thing] is actually vital that you me personally.